Say it in broken English

Though Jemima Szary is based on both Antonia Fraser’s Jemima Shore (who she got the name from) and Nancy Drew, she’s also based on Marianne Faithfull who is still alive and kicking. She is a musician who debuted in the 1960s and while she dated Mick Jagger, she also cheated on him by dating Keith Richards. I remember reading somewhere in one of her autobiographies that she didn’t just desire people, she was desired by other people too. Not just that but she also said that she grew up in a household where her own immediate relatives never drove cars, got teased or mocked for this in school and had an aristocrat for a grandmother or something like that.

So Jemima Szary also grew up in a household where her own father never drove a car, so she either took the bus or walked her way home. Which helps because she has an uncannily good sense of direction, that’s without relying on maps and GPS devices to do it. Her own maternal grandmother and aunt (as her own mother died) were members of the British gentry, though she’s particularly close to her father’s childless sister growing up. She got mocked in school for being one of the few pupils who didn’t have their own car, despite being better than most of them in looking for directions without even trying. By the way, her own maternal relatives are part of the Blount family, an actual British gentry family but it’s fictionalised here.

Her side of that family moved to Canada in search of greener pastures or something like that, her mother met her father while studying whales in the Atlantic. Her mum was something of a marine biologist, so Jemima looked up to her and wanted to become one herself but got sidetracked into doing investigative journalism instead. Her own father worked in the Canadian Navy, his name would be Bonifacy Szary and he’s the son of Polish immigrants. Well, Marianne Faithfull is the scion of continental European immigrants by the way somewhere in her family tree. Some of the parallels aren’t precise, but present on some level to point to the source.

Not to mention Jemima Szary dated both Mick Hunter and Keith Reynolds at the same time, the latter even had a wife (typical Jemima Shore fashion). She was even engaged to an art director, whom she was going to marry. By the time Jemima got a miscarriage, she had to stop dating other men for a time being until she met and began dating Maurice Lu later in life. Let’s not also forget that both men were suspects, though she got carried away by those two so she ended up dating them.

Also she kind of resembles Marianne Faithfull physically as well, though the strawberry blonde hair reveals her basis in both Nancy Drew and her namesake, Jemima Shore.

Gossips, Gorgons and Crones

AKA Baby’s First Book of Goddess Spirituality

I think I got this book in 2010 (12 years ago) and looking back, it was my first taste of feminist neopaganism. I don’t know if the author’s actually neopagan, but she’s very knee deep in non-Abrahamic religions based on me rereading it 12 years later (in digital form, since the copy I got probably got eaten by termites). When it comes to the goddess movement, it’s pretty much a reaction to the centrality of a single male God in all three Abrahamic religions.

While Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy does offer some leeway for prominent female figures to look up to, in the form of Mother Mary and the saints but then again with Mother Mary being a virgin before birthing Jesus Christ she might be too unattainable for other women. That’s if she’s held to be the gold standard, even though others like Mary Magdalene and Ruth might be more attainable. Or even any one of the Catholic and Orthodox saints, if they ever qualify at all.

The goddess movement, to be generous and fair, seems to be a movement built on seeking strong and attainable female figures in a world where the predominant female standard is to be desirable but deferential to men, always family-oriented and sexually pure without being celibate. There are male pagans out there, but a good number of them (in the Western world so far) tend to be female. When I was younger, I eagerly read it a lot but that I was when I wasn’t saved yet.

The author does make some good points about the connection between sexism and disregard for the environment, I felt like that upon researching on feminist neopaganism and finally finding a free copy of it online this is my introduction to such a movement. That movement was there in the 1990s when that book was first written and published, but this has grown significantly in almost three decades. That’s quite a long time since that book was published.

I’m not saying she’s a bad writer, she makes a good point about the connections between abuse of any kind and environmental destruction. But at times I wish she was more coherent, or at least sounded more normal to get the point across.

3 out of 5 stars.

Ludicrous basketball match

Space Jam is one of those films that are really absurd in reality, not just because of the thought of the Looney Tunes playing basketball but also because the film stars an athlete and the film itself started out as a series of adverts advertising sneakers. In fact if you believe some reviewers, Space Jam is rather cynically made when it comes to promoting a man who was the biggest athlete in basketball of his day that makes putting the Looney Tunes in that film rather forced and frankly in my opinion, ridiculous in a way that other live action-cartoon crossovers aren’t.

Daffy Duck and Porky Pig Meet The Groovie Goolies isn’t one of the best Looney Tunes productions but it’s more tonally consistent with its live action sequence being very bit as cartoony as the animated segments are. Space Jam feels rather tacked on when it comes to putting real life athletes with cartoon characters, especially with regards to a plot point where small aliens steal their talents only to have it back. Perhaps there must be a good reason why the late Chuck Jones (who’s no stranger to directing Looney Tunes shorts) disowned and disliked the film, if because it disrespected his vision for the franchise and brand.

(That’s if some corporation pissed at one fashion designer’s vision for the brand that causes bitterness on their part.)

Space Jam does have its good points but its attempts at humour or at least any amusing moment featuring one of the Looney Tunes seems misguided. Be it Porky Pig pissing himself (apparently Jones got mad at that and I think Looney Tunes is usually too sophisticated for toilet humour), Sniffles the Mouse being squashed by one of the Monstars and Granny being dogpiled by the Monstars. Not to mention there’s the attempt at sexual humour where one of the Monstars got his trousers removed and he covers it up with his shirt feels out of the blue.

Speaking of cynical sports crossovers, Disney may’ve done something similar before with comics but when it comes to Space Jam it’s more bare-faced when it comes to promoting Michael Jordan along with Bugs Bunny as the stars of the film. Additionally speaking, whereas the Monstars are rather cool only Lola Bunny has any real staying power as she’d make recurring appearances in later Looney Tunes productions like Baby Looney Tunes and Looney Tunes Show.

Space Jam can be amusing but it comes off as rather ridiculous when it comes to promoting the franchise with an athlete. It started out as a series of adverts promoting shoes and became a successful merchandising campaign that sold a lot of stuff in its day. You can see toys being advertised on Ebay for those who’re curious but personally speaking while Space Jam is an interesting film, it’s also very ridiculous if because having a cartoon character costar with an athlete is weird in and of itself.

There’s a new Space Jam film coming that might be just as ridiculous if not more ridiculous than the first film if because that involves an athlete getting his son back so he needs the help of the Looney Tunes to get him back, but the fact that combining Looney Tunes with basketball shows how ridiculous both Looney Tunes B-Ball and Space Jam are. Disney has yet to do something just as silly by having Mickey Mouse be paired with David Beckham in an attempt to return to playing football, though that could’ve been attempted before in comics with a different athlete.

But that goes to show you how ridiculous Space Jam really is.

Left Behind All Those Years

Left Behind is a book series set during the End Times and Rapture where a select few will be moved away from the wretched planet and those who stay may have to endure worse until somebody sets everything straight again, to speak plainly to outsiders not used to Christianity and the series itself. Supposing if Left Behind all about the End Times where things get worse before they get better by somebody, the character of Nicolae Carpathia* is an Antichrist character, somebody who opposes the Lamb but is also a disgusting parody.

Mr Carpathia is a charistmatic enough fellow who might be the pawn of the real bad guy the Devil, but if he were a pawn of the Devil as according to Christian beliefs it’s safe to say the Antichrist might appear charismatic and likable, the better to con people this way than if he were outrightly unappealing. (Logically Jesus wasn’t that likable when he was alive but is always certainly a good person even for his would-shortcomings.) As for the book, it’s decent as it gets when it comes to portraying the beliefs.

I’m not out mocking the Left Behind series but that book is decent enough to give insight to what the Antichrist character could be like, even if they may not exactly be like Mr Carpathia.

*Although Carp is a fairly common Romanian surname, I actually have this theory or headcanon that the Carpathia surname might indicate noble descent as it is in Europe, even if it’s not always the case (something like Count Serego, Duke of Sussex).

Review of Shameless (not the programmes)

Shameless by Cristina Franco

–I did post excerpts from it here. But from reading it and other similar sources, I come to the conclusion that dogs were almost like the original mean animals as cats hadn’t been domesticated yet, let alone spread outside of Africa and Turkey. As in portrayed as almost always dubious, cruel or mean.

Maybe not always so if there’s any use for both. (Well, I suspect the dogs’ original mean reputation might come from not only stray dogs but also owned dogs who bark at strangers where bystanders advise guests not to bother them.) So if cats hadn’t arrived yet, dogs would almost fill in that niche.

However not only as nasty pets but also strays and worse, women’s distractions from relationships thus dooming them to spinsterhood (usually with lapdogs in the past however the sentiment survives in China and Taiwan, however towards stray dogs).

The Church Eclectic: A Monthly Magazine of Church Literature and Church Work; with Notes and News Summaries …, Volume 26

The Church Eclectic: A Monthly Magazine of Church Literature and Church Work; with Notes and News Summaries …, Volume 26

The Rejuvenation of Miss Semaphore. By Hal Godfrey. Boston: L. C. Page 8: C0.

The book is well described on the title page as “a farcical novel,” and it is the very absurdity of the concep tion that carries one on to the end. An old maid in a London b0nrding~ house answers an advertisement pur porting to have for sale a bottle of Water from the Fountain of Youth. She takes‘the precaution to have an experiment tried with the magical liquid first upon her aged lap-dog which at once becomes a young and frisky animal. Then she plans to take the rejuvenating beverage her~ self in small doses, so that time may not roll backward too rapidly and noticeably, but in her eagerness, the bottle containing the water is broken and her only hope is to drink it as it flows out. Consequently she takes an overdose, and in a few minutes has become an infant of a~fcw days old. The carrying on the story in this vein to the time when the effects of the draught have disappeared and the would-be youthful old maid has returned to her real time of life again makes the story not unworthy of being used to while away an idle hour.

The Church eclectic; a monthly magazine of church … c.1 v.26 1898/99.

The Church eclectic; a monthly magazine of church … c.1 v.26 1898/99.

The Rejuvenation of Miss Semaphore. By Hal Godfrey. Boston: L. C. Page 8: C0.

The book is well described on the title page as “a farcical novel,” and it is the very absurdity of the concep tion that carries one on to the end. An old maid in a London b0nrding~ house answers an advertisement pur porting to have for sale a bottle of Water from the Fountain of Youth. She takes‘the precaution to have an experiment tried with the magical liquid first upon her aged lap-dog which at once becomes a young and frisky animal. Then she plans to take the rejuvenating beverage her~ self in small doses, so that time may not roll backward too rapidly and noticeably, but in her eagerness, the bottle containing the water is broken and her only hope is to drink it as it flows out. Consequently she takes an overdose, and in a few minutes has become an infant of a~fcw days old. The carrying on the story in this vein to the time when the effects of the draught have disappeared and the would-be youthful old maid has returned to her real time of life again makes the story not unworthy of being used to while away an idle hour.

Saturday Review of Politics, Literature, Science and Art, Volume 51 (Google Books)

* Among the Heather: a Highland Story. By A. C. Hertford. 2 vols. London: Tinsley Brothers.

; : … As soon as the text was given out, the precentor found the place in his large Bible, evidently wishing to call attention to the close way in which he meant to follow the discourse; but at the same time he carefully placed the Bible to one side of him. He then produced from his ocket a clean folded handkerchief, a box of snuff, and a paper parcel. he handkerchief he opened and laid on the desk before him ; from the box of snuff he profusely helped himself with a small bone spoon; from the paper parcel he took a large peppermint-drop, which he conveyed to his mouth under cover of the palm of his hand. Then, placing his head on the pocket-handkerchief, he remained in that position, immovable, during the rather lengthy sermon, to all appearance asleep, save for the cheerful crunching of peppermint he kept up all the time. Perhaps it was good for his voice; for he sang the final hymn with redoubled fervour, and, if possible, at a greater height than before. Then came the collection, when the whole congregation seemed to contribute the same sum of one penny. Miss Tennant had unfortunately forgotten her purse, and was going to let the box pass without contributing. She attempted this; but no, that patient little box at the end of the long stick remained stationary in front of her, seeming to say, “No, my friend, you have had your discourse, and must pay your penny ‘ ” till Norah, taking pity on her, came to her rescue with a coin from her own purse; then, and not till then, did that imperturbable elder depart satisfied.

The events of this Sunday occupy many pages; every hour is accounted for, and the affection of Mr. Lindsay makes a distinct stride, for, “coming in to enjoy a dolce far niente by the fire”— it sounds like a lozenge—he sees the sweet domestic picture of Norah in a low chair with a child asleep in her arms, and burns with desire to transplant her to his own hearth. In a few days, however, the harmony of the party is broken up by the arrival of an aunt and a lap-dog, and this furnishes the text for a dissertation on aunts in general, and the distinction between “unmarried ladies” and “old maids.” We are far from denying that the distinction exists, only we could have dispensed with this lengthy exposition of it. But one of the most curious things about Miss Hertford is the air with which she announces the most ordinary facts to the world, as if they were the experiences of the discoverer of the North-West Passage. This old aunt, Miss Duff, is supposed to concentrate in herself the humour of the book by perpetually calling people “out of their names.” Surely Lindsay is a much easier and more commonplace name to remember than “Lyndam” or “Linseed” or “Lindy,” or any of the laborious appellations that she finds for this gentleman, and, being a Scotchwoman herself, she must have been accustomed to hear it from her birth. Miss Hertford, however, has her own views in the matter of names, and among them is her way of speaking of the gentlemen as “Geoffrey’’ and “Percival” and “Peter,” though, as a rule, no one else calls them so. This the reader will find becomes irritating to the nerves; but it is part of a singular hallucination that we have before met withthat the employment of Christian names indicates a state of pastoral innocence, and promotes intimacy and affection. Fifty-seven pages out of the two hundred and sixty-five in the first volume are devoted to the description of a picnic in which all the country side takes part. Who rode, who walked, who went in the waggonette, who stayed at home, their reasons for doing all these things, and their reflections on them when done, are dwelt on relentlessly. Of course everything went wrong, and people got badly sorted. Everything always does go wrong at a picnic, which makes it the more wonderful how a person who has been to one can ever be sufficiently deluded to go to another. Still the patient reader does not despair, but places his hopes of an éclaireiss ment on a dance which he finds is to take place a little further on. But even now the hero a heroine are not allowed to dance in peace. Minute as she always is, the prospect of a ball makes the authoress perfectly microscopic. Some pages are filled with disjointed reflections as to preparations for balls, the heartburnings that ensue, and the demoralization of the household the day after; but, when these reflections are disposed of, she comes carefully and conscientiously to the matter in hand. The reader will learn with astonishment that, for the first time within human knowledge, “the large oldfashioned fireplace was one mass of growing plants, flowers, ferns, and palms”; and that “a bed of soft green moss had been made on the mantelpiece, and into it was stuck the most beautiful of the cut conservatory flowers.” The ball-dresses of the ladies were on an equally novel and elegant scale; and Miss Grant, with an effrontery and originality that Madge Wildfire might have envied, wore on her head a wreath of bracken. Can Miss Hertford really be aware of the large and uncompromising nature of the fern in question? The ball shares the fate of the picnic, and we hail with delight a change of scene produced by a sudden summons of Norah home to London, though it is at the expense of accompanying her in every hour of her journey as religiously as if we were her familiar spirit. We also have the privilege of penetrating into the home of Mr. Geoffrey Lindsay and of his admirable mother and high-bred collie. The bare mention of this last is sufficient to send off Miss Hertford into a long and confidential rhapsody upon dogs:— But I think any one who has ever possessed a loving faithful dog can understand the pleasure there is in talking to it. If you feel depressed, out of sorts, or worried about something, no need to explain particulars to the intelligent creature: the tone of your voice is enough; he feels for you at once and sympathises to the best of his doggy abilities; or if you are in a particularly gay state of mind, how quickly the dear animal finds it out and enters into your joy, bounding round you, barking cheerfully to show that your happiness makes his ! If all our clever fellow-creatures were as ready with their sympathy as are these dumb friends, how doubly our joys would be increased, and how lightened would our troubles be! If any one chances to read these lines who is not a dog-lover, I am sorry; but he could have missed the passage, had he so chosen, and I am only too thankful to be able to pay my small tribute of affection to many dear doggies, some of

whom have passed quietly away, and some of whom still live, adding much to the happiness of the homes of which they form some of the most respected members. We might have expected from the amount of space allotted to his first appearance that this quadruped was to play an important part in the story, save the heroine’s life, or unearth a lost will, or something useful of that sort, but he has no raison d’être at all, and shortly afterwards vanishes completely. By this time our task is nearly done. Norah conveys her mother and sick sister to a farmhouse for change of air, and here the ornaments of the room are described with the elaboration of a Dutch picture, and we are made acquainted with two oil-paintings “representing a stiff, woodeny lady, in a constrained position of a polished countenance, as if she had been cruelly exposed to the elements when a child, and a ditto ditto gentleman. Do not imagine,” says the author, anxious to defend herself from a charge of satire, “that I wish to laugh unkindly at these pictures; I am only attempting to act art-critic, and point out the relative beauties of each,” which follow at much length. In this bower of beauty the long-deferred troth is at last plighted, to the immense relief of everybody concerned. For our art, even in real life, we have seldom been so weary of two lovers. Miss Hertford’s tale, as shown by the extracts we have given, really needs little comment. It is gentle and refined, and the heroine herself is pleasant and natural; but this is all the praise that it is possible to give. There is an utter want of proportion and concentration about the whole thing, and only its amazin simplicity preserves it from becoming inconceivably tiresome. # as we suspect, it is the work of a very young lady, she has much to learn before she can write a readable novel.

The Monthly Review, Volume 77 (Google Books)

Art. XVIII. A Philoſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maids. By a Friend to the Siſterhood. 8vo. 3 Vols. 10s. 6d.
fewed. Cadell. –
HIS entertaining work was publiſhed in the latter end of
the year 1785, and we are ſorry to ſay, has not been brought forward in our Review. The omiſfion did not proceed from any negle&t of an Author, who (if we are rightly informed) has entertained the Public with a variety of poems, often ſub
lime, frequently pathetic, and always elegant. From the caſt of this writer’s former compoſitions, we did not expect a work, in
which an accurate knowledge of common life, and alſo wit, humour, and polite raillery are happily blended. But Mr. Hayley
(for we take him to be the Author) has ſhewn that verſatility of genius, that can paſs (as Pope expreſſed, after Boileau) from grave to gay, fºom lively to ſevere. This extraordinary performance is dedi cated to Mrs. Elizabeth Carter, the celebrated tranſlator of Epic
tetus, whom the writer ſays he reſpects in three diſtinét charaćters,
as a poet, a philoſopher, and an old maid. In his introdućtion,
Mr. Hayley obſerves, that d’Alembert had written in France an admirable eſſay on thoſe unfortunate beings called Authors; and
a worthy philanthropiſt of our own country (the late jonas Han
way), with equal goodneſs of heart, produced a treatiſe on chim ney-ſweepers. In emulation of thoſe writers, the Eſſay on Old Maids was written. With a new ſpecies of Quixotiſm, the
Author dedicates himſelf to the ſervice of ancient virginity, with .
a defign to redreſs the wrongs of the autumnal maiden, and to place her, if poſſible, in a ſtate of honour, content, and com
fort. Of the ſarcaſtic expreſſions of contempt, too often caſt
upon the ſiſterhood, ſome, it is acknowledged, are brought on them by their own errors and miſcondu&t ; and to place thoſe errors in their true light, is the Author’s aim in the outſet of his
work.
But, it ſeems, a preliminary difficulty occurs. At what period of life may the aera of old maidiſm be ſaid to begin? Young Miſſes of twenty conſider their unmarried friends as old maids at thirty.
Thoſe of thirty advance the time to forty-five: and ſome ladies at fifty have very different thoughts on the ſubjećt, affecting to call thoſe, who are three or four years younger than themſelves,
by the infantine appellation of girls. “ Aſk where’s the North P at York ’tis on the Tweed;
In Scotland at the Orcades, and there
At Greenland, Zembla, or the Lord knows where.”
To ſolve this difficult problem, the Author obſerves, that the
unwelcome title of Old Maid is generally given by the world to all unmarried ladies at the age of forty, and therefore reſolves to
comply, in ſome meaſure, with that common and vulgar preju
I dice,
,
A Philoſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maids. 223
dice, in a dilemma where neither female wit nor maſculine know
ledge has drawn the line with preciſion. Hence we are to un derſtand that the aera of old maidiſm begins with all unmarried ladies at the age of forty, or, at leaſt, that they are, at that point of time, to be conſidered as in their noviciate, ſoon to be pro fºſſed members of the venerable fiſterhood, and if not within the gates, ſtanding upon the threſhold of that community. This knotty point being ſettled, the fituation of old maids is next conſidered. Under this head, their fate generally is, after paſſing the ſprightly years of youth in the manſion of an opulent father, to take ſhelter in ſome contračted lodging in a country town, attended by a ſingle female ſervant, and there to live, with difficulty, on the intereſt of two or three thouſand pounds, paid reluctantly, and perhaps irregularly, by an avaricious or extra vagant brother, who confiders the maintenance of a ſiſter as an heavy incumbrance on his paternal eſtate. In this retreat, the old maid muſt be liable to many painful reflections, and parti
cularly to the mortification of not having been able to ſettle happily in marriage. –
For who to cold virginity a prey, The pleaſing hope of marriage e’er reſign’d; Renounc’d the proſpect of the wedding-day, Nor caſt one longing, lingering look behind P
As Gray (whom our Author calls an old maid in breeches) de ſcribed himſelf as a ſolitary fly, the ſame appellation is given to the maiden lady, with this addition, that ſhe is a fly in the autumn, when the departure of the ſun has put an end to all its lively flutter. In that ſtate, the want of ſucceſs will not be im puted to the want of merit. Hence ariſes a ſwarm of fretful thoughts, vexation, ſpleen, reſentment, and ſorrow, forming al together a diſorder, for which language has no name, being a
compound of mental and bodily diſtemper, more difficult to cure than any other malady whatever. To ſenſations of this kind our Author attributes the fačt, recorded by Plutarch, and mentioned by his two amiable modern rivals, Montaigne and Addiſon, namely, the ſelf-murder of the Mileſian virgins. The ſtory is well known. The unmarried females of Miletus were ſeized
with a rage for ſuicide, ſo violent, that nothing could reſtrain it, till a law was ena&ted, ordering the body of every one, who died by her own hand, to be exhibited a naked ſpectacle to public view. The ſenſe of ſhame prevailed over every other paſſion, and the maiden ladies, from a principle of modeſty, were will ing to endure the load of life. In modern times, old maids are often heard to declare that their condition is the effect of their
own choice. They never wiſhed to marry, and their ſtate is the moſt comfortable in human life. Such declarations ſeldom gain credit. Whoever ſpeaks that language, is thought to wear º:
ma
224. A Philoſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maids.
maſk of hypocriſy. To confirm this, our Author tells the frank
confeſſion of one of the ſiſterhood, who freely declared, “that the wife may have her load of anxieties, but the old maid is like a
blaſted tree in the middle of a wide common.” Sentiments like
theſe would ſecure old maids from the contempt and raillery, with which they are generally inſulted by the world. They are too frequently treated with ſcorn and deriſion, but, in general, the ladies of this claſs may thank their own condućt. Mr. Hay
ley therefore proceeds to confider the failings of old maid, aſſign ing to each foible a diſtinét chapter. The Curioſity of old maids is fully diſcuſſed: under this head, our Author obſerves, that, when the mind is not rouſed to a ra
tional exerciſe of its powers, by the intereſting cares, or the ele gant amuſements of domeſtic life, it is apt to perplex itſelf in a
conſtant ſeries of idle purſuits and frivolous enquiries. In con fequence of this, the old maid, having no cares at home, ſends her thoughts abroad, and becomes, by habit, a perpetual ſpy upon the condućt of her neighbours. She deſires to ſee all that
can be ſeen, to hear all that can be heard, and to aſk more queſtions than can well be anſwered : as if encreaſe of appetite did grow, by what it fed on. This old maidiſh habit ſubječts the ſiſterhood to the ſchemes of thoſe who delight in tormenting them. We have a ſtory of a frolicſome gentleman, who uſed to lay ſnares to draw the ſolitary but curious female into ridiculous ſituations: he called it angling for old maids. It is obſervable, that the curioſity of the maiden ladies leads them, for the moſt
part, to pry into the ſecrets of the matrimonial life: they like to know what is doing in that ſtate, which they deſpair of obtain ing. If a young perſon of their acquaintance marries, their firſt queſtion is, is ſhe breeding, is ſhe with child And if they ſuſpečt that an intrigue is going on between the wife and her gallant, or the huſband and his miſtreſs, the ſuperannuated fe males are ever on the watch, at all hours of the day and night, to make the important diſcovery. Whatever can proceed from the union of the ſexes, they deſire to know. To confirm theſe obſervations, the Author inſerts a narrative of particular inſtances, that fell within his own experience. –
The Credulity of old maids is the ſubjećt of the next chapter. The Author quotes from the Spectator the following paſſage:
“An old maid, that is troubled with the vapours, produces infinite diſturbances among her friends and neighbours by her ſuperſtitious credulity. I know a maiden aunt of a great family, who is one of thoſe antiquated Sibyls, that forebodes and pro pheſies from one end of the year to the other. She is always ſee ing apparitions and hearing death, watches, and was the other day almoſt frighted out of her wits by the great houſe-dog, that howled in the ſtable, at a time when ſhe lay ill of the tooth-ache.” Such
ŽPhilºſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maids. 225
Such was female credulity in the days of Addiſon. At pre ſent, the mode is altered. The old maid of this day buſies her felf with matter more than with ſpirit. Inſtead of ſeeing appari tions in the vacant air, ſhe ſees a lover in every man by whom ſhe is civilly accoſted. She finds a hint of marriage in every compliment. She builds caſtles in the air; and as faſt as one fa bric of amorous illuſion is deſtroyed, ſhe is ſure to erect another in its place. Her memory is ſtored with hiſtories of love at firſt ſight. She tells you of conqueſts made by accidentally looking
out at a window, and this conſequently becomes her favourite amuſement. On a Lord Mayor’s day, ſhe is ſure of wounding an Alderman or a Sheriff. By this turn of mind, the ancient lady is always in danger of falling a prey to the race of men called fortune-hunters. A ſtory is related of Flaccilla, who ran away with an Iriſh footman. The Author ſays, he needs not dwell on this kind of credulity, as it has been exhibited in a lu dicrous and lively manner in Mr. Murphy’s comedy of two Aćts, called “THE OLD MAID.” In that piece, however, it is treated with ridicule, whereas it may fairly be conſidered as an objećt of compaſſion. It proceeds from the moſt natural of human wiſhes, the wiſh of being beloved. But this amiable de fire, when the bloom of life is over, is always ſeen in a ridiculous light; and men find a ſtrong degree of pleaſure in ſporting with a weakneſs, which, at leaſt, is innocent. To illuſtrate this poſition, the ſtory of Harriot Aſpin, a maiden lady near the age of fifty, is told in an elegant manner, and with circumſtances highly tender and pathetic, –
The Affe&iation of old maids is the next foible that paſſes in review. This folly, in whatever form it appears, is ſure to defeat its own end. It renders even youth and beauty diſguſting; and what muſt be its effect, when it obtrudes itſelf in the ſtiff figure, and with the hard features, of the antiquated virgin In ladies of that deſcription, there are three kinds of affectation; namely, af fe&tation of youth, affectation of a certain cenſorial importance, and affectation of extreme ſenſibility. The firſt is the moſt common : it is ſeen in all aſſemblies: you there often perceive the wing of the beetle, with the ſportive motions of the butter fly; but unſeaſonable attempts to pleaſe produce nothing but diſguſt; when the juvenile old maid hangs out falſe colours, ſhe is like a ſhip diſplaying ſignals of diſtreſs. Coſmelia, when young and handſome, negle&ted her perſon, preferring the character of a learned lady; but all ſhe got by it was the ſtupid wonder of an old ſchoolmaſter, who was aſtoniſhed at her marvellous in timacy with the diale&ts of Greece. At the age of forty-ſeven, this lady affects to be young, and undervalues her learning. She thinks more of a ſmooth ſkin, than a lively imagination. Her reading is confined to advertiſements of lotions to beautify REv, Sept. 1787, R the
276 A Philºſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maid:
the complexion, and the liſts of marriages. “She diſguſts by nº thing but a rage to charm.” The ſecond kind of this foible, that of tenſorial importance; affects to comment upon the world with the aſperity of Cato. Infeóted with this ſpirit, the ancient veſtal recounts the minute circumſtances of a ſuſpe&ted intrigue, and harangues upon the little irregularities of every one ſhe knows. With all this, ſhe is neither envious nor malignant: ſhe declaims againſt inconti nence, becauſe, under the maſk of ſuch invečtives, ſhe acquires the privilege of treating her own fancy with thoſe licentious images on which ſhe loves to dwell. Of her order, the world has many preachers in the ſame predicament. –
The affidation of extreme ſenſibility takes its riſe from a notion that woman is irreſiſtible in tears. There is a reſervoir of water
in the neighbourhood of female eyes, ready to be played off, like the artificial fountain in a garden. The irrational parts of the
creation engroſs much of the old lady’s fondneſs: a lap-dog, a
parrot, or a monkey, is a conſtant objećt of affe&tion. They who pretend to this extreme ſenſibility, fancy that they recom mend themſelves by the affectation of weak nerves, and uncom mon delicacy of conſtitution. For their nice ſenſations, the air ought never to be diſturbed by a louder ſound than that of the nightingale. We have in this chapter a lively deſcription of a maiden lady, ſurrounded by the animal creation in her own houſe, and then follow ſome very juſt ſtrićtures on the affecta tion of ſuperlative delicacy in ſentiment and language. By ladies of this turn, a word of the moſt harmleſs ſignification is con ſidered as obſcene. They confirm Swift’s obſervation, that nice perſons have naſty ideas. The Author illuſtrates his ob ſervations by exhibiting the chara&ter of a nice and delicate lady, who made coverings for the ſtatues that adorned her father’s gardens. She ſent to the Curate to defire that he would not uſe the word carnal in his ſermons; and refuſed to ſubſcribe to the
charity for the propagation of the goſpel, becauſe ſhe thought there was ſomething indelicate in the word propagation. The Envy and Ill-nature of old maids are introduced to cloſe the liſt of their imperfections. If old maids are ſubjećt to envy, it is no more than may be ſaid of people in other ſtations of life. In
the fine arts, envy never fails to infect the unſucceſsful tribe. In painting, ſculpture, muſic, and every branch of literature, the moſt exquiſite produćtions have been depreciated by the malice of thoſe who are not able to perform any thing praiſe-worthy. The fair ſex are ſtudents in the art of pleaſing, and the old maid may, therefore, be conſidered as an unſucceſsful artiſt. Her ſolitary diſtreſs, and her craving curioſity, are ever ſure to be inſulted by the arrogant importance of thoſe luckier females, who have been initiated into the myſteries of Hymen. A ſlight
– tinčture
A Philoſºphical, Hiſtorical, and iſoral Effy on Old Maid, 227
tinéture of envy is, in this caſe, natural, and therefore in ſome degree pardonable. When envy ſwells to too great a ſize, it is then not only vicious, but abſurd and odious; abſurd, becauſe it purſues torment for pleaſure; and odious, as the enemy of all ſocial delight. As the beſt Burgundy, when ſpoiled, produces the moſt poignant vinegar; ſo the ſuperannuated beauty turns into the ſharpeſt and moſt acrimonious old maid, and her ill nature, in the decline of life, is proportioned to the vanity of her youth. –
A country town is the proper theatre of the envious old maid: She deals in anonymous letters, and the miſchief which ſhe occaſions in families is her ſupreme delight. She does her buſi neſs very often without uttering a word: a ſignificant glance of her eye, and an artful ſhake of the head, will often ruin a fair reputation. This is fully exemplified in the charaćter of Mrs. //inifred Wormwood. This lady looked like the innocent flower, but was the ſerpent under it. Her various artifices to gratify her fell diſpoſition are painted in ſtrong colours, and the ſtory of Nelſon and Amelia, interwoven with the hiſtory of Mrs. Wormwood, is beautifully told. The moral, drawn from the narrative, is in the words of the ancient philoſopher, who uſed to ſay, “As ruſt conſumes iron, ſo does envy the envious perſon.” The ladies are, therefore, cautioned to improve their features by the
exerciſe of good-nature. –
The ſecond part of the firſt volume proceeds to the AMIABLE qualities of ancient maids. Their Ingenuity is the firſt topic. While other antiquaries are employed in finding old ruins of Gothic archite&ture, our Author travels the country in purſuit of curious characters among ſuperannuated maids. Having given this information concerning himſelf, he relates the hiſtory of Dočior Coral, and his daughter, Theodora. He has the art of killing two birds with one ſtone; for though his purpoſe be to produce an extraordinary old maid, he preſents us, in his account of the Dočtor, with a ſly ſatire on thoſe who profeſs the cha raēter of Antiquaries. The daughter, as ſhe deſcended into the vale of years, became the greateſt rarity in her father’s col lećtion. She was a contented old maid, endeavouring, by filial tenderneſs, and elegant ingenuity, to adminiſter every comfort to a father in the decline of life. Mr. Hayley ſeems, generally, beſt pleaſed when giving a tale, that carries with it an imitation of life and manners. He is often happy upon theſe occaſions, but in none more ſo than in the account of Dočior Coral and his
family. –
The Patience of old maid, comes next under confideration. Of this virtue, the virgin martyrs who ſuffered in the firſt ages of Chriſtianity are mentioned as bright examples. But he, who had the Hiſtory of Conſtantia to relate, and could find for his nar
– R 2 rative
228 A Philoſºphical, Hiſtorical, and Moral Eſſay on Old Maids.
rative ſo many graces of ſtyle, had no occaſion to go back to ancient times. The entire paſſage would draw us into great length ; and to give it piece-meal, or condenſed into an abridg ment, would be an injury to a very intereſting and beautiful ſtory. The concluſion gives us reaſon to imagine that this pleaſing tale has its foundation in truth. Having acquainted us with the manner of Conſtantia’s death, the Author thus addreſſes her departed ſoul: –
‘Farewell ! thou gentle and benevolent ſpirit. If, in thy preſent feene of happier exiſtence, thou art conſcious of ſublunary occur rences, diſdain not this imperfect memorial of thy ſufferings and thy virtues 1 and if the pages I am now writing ſhould fall into the hand of any indigent and deječted maiden, whoſe ill fortune may be ſimilar to thine, may they ſooth and diminiſh the diſquietude of her life, and prepare her to meet the cloſe of it with piety and com poſure.” –
The Charity of old maids, in the next place, attraëts the au thor’s notice, and, in this chapter, he has given a view of ſome
very agreeable ſcenes in human life. Such repreſentations are, as Dryden expreſſes it, the theft of the poets from mankind. We wiſh it were conſiſtent with the limits of our review to lay this whole chapter before our Readers; but ſince that cannot be con
veniently done, we will not do ſo much injuſtice to the Author, as to give the broken members of his work. Whoever has a
mind to enjoy the pleaſure ariſing from the contemplation of amiable charaćters, drawn with truth and elegance, is referred to the original for the account of Charieſa, the portrait of Meletina, and, above all, the exquiſite hiſtory of Angelica. The power of charity and benevolent affections, to fill the mind with ſolid en joyments and true happineſs, is here diſplayed in the moſt beau tiful colouring: Mr. Hayley concludes his firſt volume with ſaying, * Perhaps, if a juſt chronicle of old maids had been kept fince the creation, it would have preſented to us many examples of virtue and benevolence. But of the ancient virgins of a remoter period I
ſhall ſpeak at large in the ſubſequent part of this Eſſay… I ſhall, to the utmoſt of my abilities, colle&t all the ſcattered rays of light, with which antiquity can ſupply me, for the illuſtration of ſo intereſting a ſubječt. To rival the curious reſearches of our preſent moſt cele brated antiquaries, and in the wide field, which I have choſen, to leave no buſh or bramble unexplored, I ſhall enquire in the firſt chapter of the ſecond volume, if there ever exiſted an AntebiLuz
v1 AN OLD MA1 p.” –
The Author keeps his promiſe, and, indeed, with great hu mour; having given, in a vein of ſerious pleaſantry, his pro found reſearches concerning virgins before the Deluge, he goes on, in ſeveral ſubſequent chapters, to enquire into the ſtate of old maidiſm among the Jews, the Ægyptians, the Greeks, the
– – Roman
Foreign LITERATURE. 229
*
Roman Veſtals before the Chriſtian aera, and the increaſe of old
maids after that period. This part of the work is a pleaſant fro lic of imagination, and a lively ſatire on the learned labours of thoſe profound antiquarians, who ſpend their lives in the inveſ tigation of important matters which nobody values but them felves. The opinions of ſeveral of the fathers, ſuch as Saint
Gregory of Nyſa, St. Ambroſe, and Chryſoſtom, are placed in a
ridiculous light. The monaſtic old maids, who diſtinguiſhed themſelves by their talents, are here recorded, and ſome old maids of the new world are added to the liſt. Theſe materials, with
ſome other miſcellaneous obſervations, and a ſermon – to old
maids, compoſe the ſecond and third volumes of this ſerio-comic
performance. The firſt volume coming more home to men’s buſineſs and boſoms, is the moſt intereſting; and ſhews that the Author has talents for that ſpecies of compoſition, called the comic novel. In the ſubſequent parts, he diſplays his reading, and at the ſame time laughs at the antiquarians in a pleaſing ſtyle of ironical gravity. The whole is interſperſed with curious paſſages from ancient authors, and the reader is occaſionally relieved with agreeable compoſitions in verſe. Were we to hint a fault, we ſhould ſay that the enquiry into antiquity is carried to too great a length. It is a part of the Author’s plan, which, from its nature, cannot be intereſting to the generality of readers. The firſt volume, we repeat, is intereſting, and ſhews that the Author is not only an attentive obſerver of life, but that he has the ta lents which conſtitute an elegant moral painter.

The Illustrated American, Volume 15 (Google Books)

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ITH the departure from our shores of the splendid company of operatic artists which has appeared at the Metropolitan Opera House during the winter and spring,

and with the imminent approach of the‘ managerial bugbear, warm weather, the season of ’93-’94 is, for all practical purposes, ended.

More than one decided moral may be drawn from the results of the past few months in theatrical New York. The first, and most obvious, moral is that there is, as there always- has been and always will be,‘ a public for that which is good in the amusement world. And the public taste has never been truer than it is at present. I do not propose to review in detail all the productions of the past season, but, by taking its salient features, to prove my point. The magnificent enterprises of Messrs. Abbey, Schoeffel, and Grau may be dismissed briefly. Their operatic season and the engagement of Henry Irving and Ellen Terry carried success with them from the first. The result, in both cases, was a foregone conclusion just as much as that, although in another direction, which attended M. Mounet-Sully. With the opera and with Mr. Irving, there came the knowledge that we were to have the best that money and energy and taste could secure on the operatic and dramatic stages of our time. And, although fashion was an important factor in both instances, still the great*bulk of support came from the general public, from those who come to the theatre to see rather than to be seen.

It is agood fhing for art that these gigantic engagements have been properly appreciated, but the best evidence of the good taste of the playgoer is to be found in theatres where the stock company is still a feature. The great theatrical events and the great actors and singers will always draw. ‘ They are heralded so widely that their mere announcement is sufficient to fill the theatre night after night. But, \vifh the lesser affairs of the drama, the end cannot be so surely seen. It is a Sign of the times that the successful productions at the Empire and Lyceum theatres—the only houses in New York where stock companies are maintafned—are, in their respective ways, sound, wholesome works, which are capably acted. The days of rough and tumble farce, of horseplay, of vulgarity, are over. I place of these abominations has come the love of that which is interesting, often amusing, and always decorous. The success of “Sowing the Wind,” of “The Amazons,” and of “ Charley’s Aunt,” is the best answer to those managers who endeavor to foist foolish and noisy “farce comedies” on an unsuspecting and surfeited public.

I have already dwelt at length upon these plays, and on the reasons for their success. But they must once more be cited as evidence of the public taste which, even if averted for the time being by ephemeral attractions, is true at heart. “ Sowing the \Vind,” at the Empire Theatre, has beaten the London record; “The Amazons” is the greatest success which the Lyceum has known; while “Charley’s Aunt” has at last gone to Chicago after a visit of many months to the Standard Theatre. It is well that this is so. Mr. Sydney Grundy’s play is not calculated to amuse the man about town, but it is a treat to the intelligent playgoer. It sets forth a strong and

‘out into three acts after the custom of the time.

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stirring story in language which is remarkably brilliant, and, although it does not solve the problem, it affords an evening’s entertainment far above the average and one which gives room for thought. It is an unusual play, but it is a fine play. It is, also, a serious play, but it succeeds for all that. On the other hand, “The Amazons” is a comedy which, dealing with an impossible subject, still makes the story, characters, and incidents appear possible. And it delights from beginning to end. Its subject is a delicate one, but there is no offense in it. Its fun is quiet, but it is honest, hearty, healthy. The third successful play of the season is “ Charley’s Aunt,” which is farce, pure and simple, as distinguished from Mr. A. W. Pinero’s delightful comedy. In the old days, its three acts would have been confined to one, and the farce would have been played merely as a preliminary piece to the staple fare of the evening. But we no longer take our amusement in large quantities, so Mr. Brandon Thomas’s farce is spun It is a thoroughly amusmg play. Its fun is fast and furious, but it is good, solid fun, without a taint of vulgarity to mar it. So that here we have three distinct classes of plays, all successes from every point of view. Here is proof that there is room for domestic drama, like “Sowing the Wind,” for genuine comedy, like “ The Amazons,” and for honest farce, like “Charley’s Aunt.” »

It is thus abundantly evident that there is a public for that which is good. And, if the question be closely considered, it will be found that much of the success of the three plays thus singled out by the voice of public approval is due to their literary, no less than to their mechanical workmanship. Of course, the dialogue of “Charley’s Aunt” is not its most important feature. Indeed, it is not so essential to its success as its situations. It is, however, neat and to the point. But where. I would like to know, would “Sowing the \Vind” and “ The Amazons ” be but for their dialogue? They certainly would not be on the New York stage at the present moment. It is often charged against the stage that the plays of to-day are not literature. I am not aware that it is necessary for a play, in the ordinary sense, to aim at being literature. So long as its dialogue interprets the thoughts and expresses the emotions of its characters, it fulfills its office. But good writing is as essential to a play as it is to anything else. The majority of plays, it is true, do not read well, but the majority of them do not act well. “Sowing the Wind” and “The Amazons” would, I am convinced, read extremely well.

It is a pleasure to listen to the dialogue of these plays. I have seen both pieces three times in New York, and on each occasion I have been impressed by the value of the writing. In the one case it is strong, virile, incisive, determinate. In the other it is brilliant, smooth, polished, and remarkably delicate. Mr. Grundy has no hesitation in calling a spade a spade, but he does it so cleverly that there is no offense in it. And Mr. Pinero has the faculty of skating over thin ice more successfully than any other living dramatist, Mr. Gilbert excepted. In the hands of a less skillful writer, the story of “ The Amazons ” would be vulgarized, if not rendered absolutely indecent. But its humor is as clean as its dialogue is clear cut, and it ripples along in a constant stream of delicacy. “ The play’s the thing,” but the actual writing of a play is far more necessary to its success than most would-be dramatists appear to think. They imagine that dialogue is of little moment,and,if they pay any attention whatever to it,they endeavor to make it “ natural,” which means that it becomes merely colloquial and commonplace. Stage dialogue, like the stage itself. should idealize. If the characters in the plays by Mr. Grundy and Mr. Pinero spoke like people in actual life, “ Sowing the \Vind ” and “ The Amazons” would hardly be worth listening to. It is not the subjects which are of so much importance, as the manner in which they are set forth. Literary workmanship counts for something after all.

The American manager cannot be blamed for purchasing his material in the English market. It is a question of supply and demand. It is a significant fact that the stock companies of the Empire and Lyceum theatres have made suCcesses with

.the English plays, which were not written for them and whose authors were entirely ignorant of the styles of the respective actors, whereas the plays written to order by the American dramatists failed signally. The moral is obvious. The plays which succeeded were the better plays. Good parts make good actors, an old and true theatrical adage which cannot be reversed. A part may be written for a single actor, but a play cannot be written for an entire company. Playwriting is sufficiently mechanical work at all times. Its difficulties should not be increased. The only true way to write a play is to follow the bent of the author’s inclination. If it fits the stock company, well and good. If it does not, let the manager arrange his company accordingly. If an actor is worth salt, he can adapt himself to his part. The part should not be written down to his level.

If, in the next season, the “foreign ” dramatist is still to the fore, the American writer will have only himself to blame. And the indications are that Grundy and Pinero, Sardou and Henry Arthur jones will hold the New York stage in full force. It is only natural that it should be so, their works being better than those of the native born playwright. But let us take heart of grace. There is plenty of room for all comers. The managers have no race prejudice. They are, on the contrary, liberal minded. It is a question of ability, of worth. One reason for the failure of so many purely American plays is their sentimentality as opposed to sentiment. They contain too much of the infant in arms, of the church organ, of falling snow, and other cheap theatrical devices of a bygone age. All this should be avoided. Let us have sentiment, by all means, but do not let us be merely maudlin. And do not let us mistake “unconventionality” either for naturalness or for greatness. Let us be true to life, but let us never forget that the stage should idealize. It should take us out of ourselves. It should not let us wallow in the depths of despair. It should lift us out of the commonplace. It should lighten and brighten, and this is as true of the dialogue of plays as of their actual framework.

Wanted, a Stage Manager.

I.\’ the “good old days” of the drama, those days which are so often, and so rightly, deplored, the stage manager was a veritable autocrat. and a valuable one into the bargain. Much of the success of the play depended upon him, and many an actor was indebted to the stage manager for advice and instruction which often put him on the path which led to fame. Nowadays, however, the term amounts to nothing. “Stage manager” is a meaningless phrase. If it represents anything at all, it merely typifies an individual without experience, or intuition, or power. I speak tnore particularly in regard to the New York stage. There is hardly a production given here which is not marred on its first night by want of proper stage management. It is the custom, in the case of a London suc

cess, to bring over some one who is thoroughly familiar with .

the play and who is made responsible for the representation of it in New York. This was done, recently, in the case of “ A Woman’s Revenge,” and, again, with “Sowing the Wind” and ” Utopia, Limited.” And “Cinderella” is, to all intents and purposes, a London production stage-managed by the same person who was responsible for it in England. In the latter instance, it would have been impossible for a stranger to have done justice to the extravaganza, which is a thing of its own requiring special knowledge. I

In regard to ordinary productions, however, it is absurd to think that it is necessary to import a stage manager. Each theatre should have its own permanent stage manager, who

_able to show him how to portray his part.

should be capable of taking the prompt-book and working out the “business” of the play for himself. Even in this matter. authors are now so careful as to every bit of business that little or nothing remains for the stage manager to invent. His chief concern is to busy himself with the tails of the scenery and properties. the acting being left to take care of itself. The modern stage manager is, in fact, little more than a prompter. Compared to what he was in the past, and to what he should be, he is an absolute nonentity. He is ignorant, he is wanting in authority. He is ignorant of the methods and traditions of the theatre, he is ignorant of the English language. he is quite incapable of suggesting an idea to the novice. In the old days. there used not to be any appeal from him. To-day, however, it is useless to appeal to him. for he is absolutely and hopelessly incompetent. On the New York stage. at the present moment, there are errors in the pronunciation of words which are so glaring that they ought never to have passed the first rehearsal, and things occur on the stage which, although small in themselves, ought not to be tolerated. I speak of the firstclass theatres, which are usually the chief sinners in this respect, because the “ stage managers ” of these houses ought to know their business. I could multiply instance upon instance of this deplorable state of affairs. !

The want of proper stage management is an injustice to the public and an absolute wrong to the young actor. The playgoer is denied the performance which he has the right to eatpect, and the player who is starting in his profession has to labor in darkness. For the stage manager, if he knows his business, should be able to instruct the actor, and should be The importance of stage management is recognized on the London and Paris stages. Why should New York be behindhand in this matter? Our managers spare no expense in regard to their productions. They invest heavily in scenery and furniture and dresses. But the office which is so vital to a play is. for all practical purposes, left unfilled. Stage management is not merely a case of a first-night representation. The stage manager should keep a watchful eye on the play throughout its run. For actors are only human, and, one and all, they require keeping up to the mark. A play requires unceasing vigilance. Mispronunciation should not be tolerated for a single instant, and stupid or objectionable ” business ” should be quite impossible in a wellregulated theatre.

So much is done for plays here that it is a pity that the rest should not be done. There is no stint of money, but judgment is not infrequently misplaced. Managers, in their own interest, should look into this subject. The importation of English actors is rebelled against in certain quarters, but the English actor will be brought here just so long as this country is deficient in stage managers. The innate ability of the English player may or may not be greater than that of the American actor. Ilut the English actor has the advantage of a better training. He has been educated, so to speak. in a more experienced and a more rigid school, and the effect of his’training is distinctly visible. Again, if the so-called stage managers here were as capable as they should be, we would hear less of the petty jealousies and the bickerings of the theatre. Actors and actresses are constantly quarrelling with each other over some trivial matter which should be settled, once and for all, by the stage manager, so that the artificial and narrow life of the theatre is rendered more and more unpleasant. The effect is not confined to the stage, for it makes itself known to the audience. On all grounds, it is desirable that the New York manager should realize the vital necessity of having a competent controller of the stage. At the present time, stage management is a lost art.

This lamentable state of affairs should not be allowed to exist. There is no excuse for it. Competent stage managers may not be very plentiful, but they are to be found. They are obtainable in England. Why should they not be in evidence in America? Their importance is made more and more evident as each succeeding production‘ shows some weakness which ought to be avoided. or some defiCtency which. if an efficient stage manager were in control, would not be apparent. It is too much the fashion to take a successful London play and to present it as an imitation of the original. That bad system also prevails, and to a worselextent, in regard to the representations in the English provinces of London pieces. The provincial company copies the London one as closely as may be, no allowance being made for difference either of audience or of the temperament of the actor. To be sure, that evil does not, because it cannot, exist here, but we require, nevertheless_ a little originality. And we require, far more, firmness, decision, on the part of those who direct the stage. The attention of the managers of the various theatrical enterprises here is directed, of necessity, to what may be called the financial side of the undertaking. But the stage cannot be controlled from the box office. It is all very well to run a theatre as a business, but every business must have its heads of departments. And the most important person in a theatre, so far as the artistic, and ultimately, the commercial side of the subject is concerned. is the stage manager. If a little more scrutiny were devoted to the stage management of our various playhouses, the result would be beneficial to those who run the theatres as well as to the public and to the player. For one error leads to another on the stage, and, once you get slipshod, there is no knowing where the carelessness will end. Where so much time, and energy. and money are invested, it is a pity that our managers should not go a step further and pay strict attention to the stage. ‘

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Anything quite so wild and weird and wonderful as “ The Sleepwalker ” has not been seen on the New York stage, during my time, at any rate. It is, to me, at least. a piece which is utterly bewildering. As scene succeeded scene, I sat in blank amazement, vaguely trying to imagine what it was all about. Some of the situations, more especially those of the second act, are vastly amusing. By the time that they are reached, the attempt to follow the plot or to make head or tail in the story has been abandoned. so that the uproarious fun may be enjoyed by th05e who do not mind what they are laughing about. Farcical comedies are generally of a fashion. They are, as a rule, variations of the same tune. Granted that you have a number of male and female characters, all playing at cross purposes. make a butt of your mother-in-law, drag in a baby, lug in a pug dog, and there you are. But “The Sleepwalker” has no mother-in-law, or baby, or pug dog. To be sure, there is a maiden aunt who gets mistaken for a trapeze performer, and there are two fiaxen-haired idiots, facetiously called the “heavenly twins,” whose doiifgs are worse than infantile. For the rest, however, the new piece has the charm of novelty if not of intelligibility.

‘The “wealthy young man,” who gives the play its title, is a rather jolly bachelor who wears his hair like Mr. Charles Coghlan and fixes his eyeglass after the manner of that actor. He has been engaged to a young and pretty lady, but, attracted by the charm of wealth, he has fixed his attention on a widow who is still fascinating. although she has had two husbands. Her first spouse is dead beyond all manner of doubt. but there is a mystery about her second husband. Attached to the “wealthy young man’s” household are a blustering uncle and his grown up, insane twins. I fail to understand the precise reason of their presence in the play, but. I presume, they are meant to show that this particular “uncle” is no lender, but a borrower. His nephew has had the misfortune to walk in his sleep. and the grasping uncle has taken advantage of the unhappy somnambulist by rob

bing him of various articles, maintaining that they were gifts. So tables, and chairs, and sofas are turned upside down, pistols are fired, maids are kissed. all in noisy and meaningless confusion. There is a really funny scene, in the second act. in which the alleged sleepwalker, who is very much wide awake, does the most ridiculous things and makes his conipanions on the stage follow his example.

The scene of the intended marriage, which ends the second act, is, despite its incongruity, amusing. 1 do not believe in making capital out of such serious things as marriage and religion, and a burlesque marriage, by a mock clergyman, is not a proper thing on the stage. But, if you can forget these objections, the discovery by the short-sighted minister that the intended bride is his long lost wife, is funny enough. It certainly‘is the most amusing scene in this strangely complicated piece. But, for my part, I do not think that the travesty is in good taste. There are still some people who regard marriage as a solemn ceremony, and there are still some persons who hold with religion. To them, the scene cannot afford pleasure. But, as they do not, as a rule, banker after farce performances, the matter is not of much consequence. I am sorry, nevertheless, to see the stage lending itself to such means of obtaining laughter which, at best, is misplaced in these cases.

As I recently pointed out, in reference to a piece at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, New York, the acting of force is a thing of its own. The farce must be understood, and it must be acted with meaning and spirit. The interpretation of “The Sleepwalker” is lamentably deficient. The players. of both sexes, are lacking in distinction. The men are particularly wanting in this respect. They all speak their lines like automatons, and with very much the same effect as though they were reading their parts at a first rehearsal. They do not appear to have considered their characters or the language—such as it is—which is provided for them. If there is an exception to this rule, it is Mr. Paul Arthur, who is funny, but too exaggerated, as the clergyman. As is customary in the transplantation of a farce of this kind from England to America, there are various so-called musical interpolations in the piece as we see it. Their speedy elimination would be a good thing for the play and for the audience. [do not know what success attended “ The Sleepwalker ” in London, but the piece would not have lived there a single week unless it had been rendered with dash and intelligibility. Messrs. Hilliard and Arthur should instantly cut out the songs and set to work to drill the company into a little understanding of their respective parts. Some illustrations of the piece. as it is presented in New York, are given on page 5ii.