When marriage brings pain

It’s like if God allows pain and suffering to happen in your marriage, like say Paul’s going to die from AIDS anyways and it’s going to be a short-lived marriage full of pain and disease. Likewise the Bible says that marriage’s not without difficulties and obstacles, whether if it’s serious incompatibility, arguments or the forthcoming death of a spouse due to AIDS.

I am doubtful of the prosperity gospel as there are rich and famous people who struggle with mental health problems, physical health problems like allergies to cats where it can be a life or death situation where if they come into contact with cats unless if there are hypoallergenic cats they’d risk coming into hives and stuff and other problems like divorce and drug addiction that it’s really not a walk in the park.

(Likewise King David committed adultery and had a child die, despite his wealth and power.)

Marriage’s not a walk in the park where God allows bad things to happen in your marriage to Paul, whether if it’s the loss of him due to AIDS or him not liking cats and dogs to the point where he even throws them away. There’s going to be a lot of suffering in your marriage to Paul where he even threatens to block animal websites because he doesn’t like animals at all.

Nonetheless, God is good where if your husband dies your suffering will die with him.


Each week in July, I earned 20 pesos per item I’ve sold and I still do these days after a break of not selling face masks a lot in August. My father said that I should sell a blouse for 150 pesos, which’s a good thing because I want to earn as much money as I can.

I also want to go to a vocational school to improve on my sewing skills, but because I’d also like to sell outfits sometime after I go to class where I’d like to sell blouses, trousers and dresses for 150 pesos each. I can also sell other items like ties and masks for 100 pesos each, hopefully enough.

In short, I’d like to earn a lot of money to support myself and I’ve earned 20 pesos each but I also want to earn a lot more to support myself and buy more resources need to make into blouses and trousers that I’ll sell for 150.


I regret not going to college, but because I got bullied a lot in high school that I didn’t want to go to college. Now I’m considering going to a vocational school to compensate for that, my sister said that if I should get a job I should’ve gone to school first so I’m following her suggestion.

I really, really want to go to a vocational school to compensate for not being able to go to college. My father said that I could go to college at any time, but I don’t feel good about entering college at a late age that I’d rather go to vocational school instead. (Brian May did go to college again in his 50s or 60s I think, there are people in their 30s who go to college.)

I want to go to vocational school real badly so that I’ll get a job soon enough to end my unemployment.

My Sister and My Father

Early this morning, I went out and got the floor dirtied which got my sister mad and she told me to clean it using a brown bag so I did and she mopped the floor as well. She didn’t like how I dirtied the floor by going outside in the morning so she made me clean it.

Then afterwards, my father told me to go to SM since we can’t go to Cubao, we went upstairs to go to SM and there was this woman who said ‘basket nga’ while we were shopping and to avoid obstructing vehicles so I did.

Then it rained until it eventually stopped.

The Monkey and The Turtle

Panels 1-5: The monkey’s sad, walking around until she sees a turtle.

Turtle: How are you Mona?

Monkey: Alex, I’m hungry and the farmer’s squash was taken by other monkeys. [Next Panel] I’m going to die due to want of food.

Turtle: Don’t be discouraged. [Next panel] Take a look and follow me, we’ll steal some bananas.

Panels 6-10: They walked, the turtle dug up some plants and the monkey goes up to the tree to get bananas and then she gives it to the turtle, the turtle buries some seeds in the ground.

Monkey: When my tree bears fruit, I’ll sell it and have a great sum of money.

Turtle: When my tree bears fruit, I’ll sell it and buy three varas of cloth in place of this cracked shell.

Panels 11-15: The monkey discovers that her tree didn’t bear fruit so she goes to the other tree, eats the bananas there.

Monkey: I’ll go to the top to eat fruit there. [Eats it right away.]

Turtle: Mona, can you go give me some? [The monkey gives him an unripe banana to eat.] Darn you!

Panels 16-20: The turtle gets a sharp bamboo for a stick, bothers the monkey while she’s sleeping.

Turtle: The crocodile’s coming! [Knocks again] The crocodile’s coming.

Then the turtle cut the monkey into pieces and sold the meat to others.

21-25: The monkeys discover her dead body.

Monkey 2: Don’t eat that body! You’ll eat yourself if you eat it!

The monkeys catch the turtle and bring him to their home.

Monkey 3: Let’s get a hatchet and cut you up into pieces.

Turtle: That’s what I did to her [shows the back to them] do you see the scars on my body?

Panels 26-32: The monkeys plot revenge on the turtle.

Monkey 3: I’ll throw water on you.

Turtle: No, please no. [Crying] Please don’t.

They throw the turtle into the water, but got a lobster to tie a string with.

Turtle: That’ll do the job when I tie this string. [Tying it fast] There, I’ll go. [Ties a string to the rock.]

Narration: That’s why monkeys don’t eat meat, they remember the story.

Why the sea is salty

Once upon a time, there was a couple where the husband had a grinder (which was given to them) and a goose, the grinder grounded salt which poured onto the food they ate. One day the man exchanged the goose for a grinder, his wife got mad at him because the goose is gone.

Then the thieves stole the grinder from him, grinding down the salt until it falls down to the sea. The grinder doesn’t stop, it keeps on grinding, they don’t know the password to make it stop. The sea kept on getting saltier, the more it kept on grinding.

They forgot the magic word to make it stop, that’s why the sea and ocean are salty.

Why is the sea salty?

On Christmas day, they had nothing so they waited. The man said ‘you go and sell the goose’, the wife got mad when he exchanged the goose for the grinder. The other man stole the grinder from them, then he rode on a battle, saying ‘grind, grind’ and he kept on grinding until the salt fell to the sea, the boat sank and that’s why the sea’s salty.


We went to the graveyard to visit our mother’s grave, in the flower shop I saw a small and cute puppy there. Papa bought flowers and then scattered them across her gravestone, my sister was sitting there reading the Bible and then I read the Bible myself.

I stood up and walked, despite my father telling me to stay in the shade (there were cats in the graveyard as well where one got fed by a guard before). Then we went out to Riverbanks where we ate at Tropical Hut, Papa told me to leave some of the hamburger but I ate all of it.

(This is the same hamburger that I told my father to order, my sister ordered tuna salad.)

As well as an old man talking there, then my sister bought milked tea (I do remember drinking iced tea as early as age 15) and then we went home in a taxi (we went to the graveyard riding in a taxi as well). We haven’t been to a taxi in a long time, let alone one that allows multiple passengers.

There’s not much rain today, so it’s a lucky day for us all that we managed to go there by taxi’s saying. (My brother said that the dogs chased the mouse last night.)


God, I regret that I didn’t get Gerry Alanguilan saved. He was an inker and cartoonist who did stories like Elmer, now he’s in hell and I regret not getting him saved any sooner or earlier. I pray for Pol Medina to be saved, so that he’ll be spared from hell.

Hesus, idalhin mo dito si Paul upang umalis ako sa Marikina. Ayoko dito sa Marikina, madaming bullies ako dito. Binubully ako si Luc, ayaw nila yung religion at gusto mo pumunta ako sa Cubao. Ayoko dito sa Marikina, to be honest at gusto ko umalis ako na magaaga amen.

The Day

I went out shopping with my sister, I overheard some people talking about prices and then when we went back home, I heard a driver saying ‘180’ and a woman saying ‘any cute ng anak mo’. Sandra was aggressive to her daughter Naning but they quickly got along again whenever they play with each other as usual.

I am going through a tough time, feeling as if the late artist Gerry Alanguilan is in hell whilst I’m praying for Pol Medina jr (a cartoonist) to be saved. I’m not sure if Paul, who likes comics, ever prayed for his salvation before. I also want a way out of this personal hell I created for myself, hoping to get out soon enough.

Especially when the lockdown ends, where I pray one day COVID will go away for good.