This Love Has Taken Its Toll on Me

When it comes to the possibility that romance novels could be a big stumbling block for some people, I feel they’re not taken seriously enough but it’s not that I necessarily enjoy those. Rather I feel instead of actual concern, it takes on a derisive tone which only hinders our ability to taken them seriously as a source of lust for some women. If there are some women who do masturbate to romance and erotica books, then it should be a real cause for concern that they are lusting after something. That they too struggle with lust should be considered, if romance novels are some of those stumbling blocks that hinder their walk with God.

Supposing if somebody’s cousin admits to wanking to these kinds of books before as a kid and then getting spanked or whipped for it, admittedly this is not a nice way to deal with their struggle with lust but it’s something that has to be taken more seriously. In the sense that if reading lustful literature is proven to hinder or worsen one’s relationships with their spouses, superiors, teachers and friends then the consequences are real; they reap what they sow if only people actually knew this. Not to mention a good number of romance and erotica books are delving into more disturbing or taboo content, or rather what was taboo ages ago.

Not just rape but also actual gore, polyamory and what have you. The fact that gory horror romance books are a thing suggests that some writers and editors will do anything to write whatever that’s arousing, they will sexualise gore when they can and they will do it. We already have BDSM books going mainstream like Fifty Shades of Grey, in fact it even got a movie adaptation of sorts. Worse things have yet to come, but the direction they’re heading isn’t good. They’ll do anything to find whatever arouses them and their readers, if something gets too vanilla then it has to be something else. Pretty disturbing to see how some romance books got there, but I feel if lust’s built into it it’s really in a downward spiral.

Self-Control

When it comes to sexuality, I believe both men and women are perfectly capable of self-control or at least attempt at doing it. Actually most of the men in my family don’t struggle with lust that much, whereas some of the women (including myself at various points) do. But if God’s grace is available to anybody, so is the willingness to rely on him whenever somebody is tempted to do something. Sometimes he can convict you to stop doing this, I have experienced this many times over.

But when it comes to the world making people do things they shouldn’t be doing, a need for self-control (well Godly self-control) becomes imperative. The expectation that men should enjoy sex more has resulted in many problems, including more divorces, ruined families, STDs, disregard for women’s feelings and the like. No wonder why the Bible has said many times about abstaining from lust, though I think women are just as prone to this too. A sermon on Citi FM said about how God hates sin, in addition to others that I remember that are about God giving grace and God humbling people.

(That and how Satan is very clever and another about God interceding in people’s lives.)

So lust is no different either, if there’s something that makes you lust cut it off. It’s this simple. Same with not giving into the world and flesh, if because following it makes your life worse. One example of a man who lacked self-control is Dolph Lundgren, he’s an action star who got into multiple affairs that his wife developed a habit of spending on something just to numb the pain she went through. Not to mention giving into sin makes you less free, you get trapped and you struggle with it. I know this myself and it’s tough at times.

No wonder why they divorced, Dolph Lundgren had to face the music. Another example is his contemporary Jean Claude Van Damme who married women after women and developed a drug addiction, giving into the world doesn’t do people any favours secular or Christian. Any man is capable of self-control, to the point where lust will no longer have a stronghold on them. It’s not easy to stop yourself from sinning, but by relying on God and confessing what you’ve done you can learn to manage it the next time around.

If a man cheats on his wife, he’s clearly not treating her right. The Bible has a verse about men treating their wives well, so even they may lead or guide them they still have to treat them kindly. It’s clear that Lundgren mistreated his wife by cheating on her many times, that eventually she got tired of it and divorced him. Likewise David Bowie got into so many affairs that Angie got tired of him too. You reap what you sow, what goes around comes around and what goes up must come down. If God hates sin, any sin, this is why.

Like I Love You

When it comes to romance stories, of all the fiction genres, romance and its more explicit form erotica have lust baked into them. Especially when it’s aimed at making the hero or male character so desirable to the reader, that it’s inevitable more explicit content seeps in over time. Even the unthinkable like horror, gore and the like make their way into these kinds of stories, but when lust is at the centre of the story so anything goes for as long as it’s intended to arouse the reader.

The Jezebel spirit needn’t to partake in feminism to ruin women, sometimes it can take advantage of romance stories instead. While there certainly are wholesome romances and even Christian romances out there, but when desire’s the main aim of the story so lust will inevitably be part of it in most stories. Based on what I know and understand, the hero has to be made desirable in order to arouse the reader in some way. Otherwise he’d just be rather boring and not easy to sexualise.

While there are romance stories that focus on more attainable, down to earth heroes others focus on making them as desirable as possible and I do remember reading somewhere on Google Books on how some people actually masturbate to these books. So it is working the way it’s intended to, arousing the imagination and sex drives of both readers and writers alike. Great bodies, great sex, great plot. That’s the aim of these kinds of stories, well most of them do. But it’s a slippery slope for anybody to take, especially if they’re Christian.

I Will Follow Him

I think the argument for women submitting to their husbands would be far stronger if women lusting were ever addressed in any way, since there are some men who don’t like it whenever their wives cheat on them in some way. It could be having an affair with another man, it could also be having a crush on somebody else or reading smutty books. I don’t think this will be openly discussed in any way, if because a lot of people will get super defensive over this.

Another is that not a lot of people believe that women lust, even though they do and in some cases it’s so terrible that it ruins families and relationships. Some people dismiss erotic literature and celebrity crushes as fluff, even though it could be just as damaging as visual porn in some cases or at least have the same potential for it if one’s not careful. Some men aren’t into their wives having crushes on men other than them, so that’s something women need to be careful with if they’re in relationships with their husbands and boyfriends.

If lust is bad for the gander, it’s also bad for the goose. Likewise if something causes a woman to lust, then she should cut it off because it will ruin her relationship with her husband or boyfriend. I ruined my potential relationship with a classmate by deliberately reading sinful stuff, likewise someone else in the family would experience losing her husband because she herself is prone to lust. Which goes to show you how susceptible some women are to lust.

So much so it ruins their relationships with the men they’re entrusted with or love, another example would be this one Backstreet Boys fan who admitted to being a Christian but became a single mum because she often writes smutty BSB stories. But I think this would not be popular with Christians, not just due to defensiveness but also because not many realise how other women struggle with lust in big and small ways.

Some women struggle with lust by reading smutty stories, some struggle by having a crush on a celebrity they like and some struggle by having affairs with men other than their husbands. Just as the Devil tempted Eve with a fruit, he can tempt women away from their husbands with these kinds of things and circumstances. It doesn’t have to be feminism, since the spirit of Jezebel can live on in romance books and celebrity crushes.

Sadly, the biggest argument for women submitting to their husbands is the one people will overlook for many reasons even if this is the best one yet. Though it’s also the most practical and realistic one around, in light of the many smutty books that get published. If the wife is called to be devoted to her husband as Christians are to God, she should abstain from the things that would make her romantically stray from him.

No porn, no crushes, no affairs. Not an easy one, but a necessary cutoff.

Bad Romance

When it comes to certain worldly things, it’s worth noting that it can’t always be the obvious targets that cause somebody to sin since the Devil’s clever enough to find ways of catching people off-guard. If demons can take advantage of comics to possess and corrupt people, why not romance novels and erotica books? Even if there are romance novels that are clean, have Christian values and are written by Christians themselves there are others that aren’t Christian through and through.

This includes m/m romances (gay romances by the way), you might say that they’re getting woke therefore ungodly but even if many early romances aren’t woke they’d still be ungodly because they’re heavily predicated on lust. You have passages of explicit sex, sex described by euphemisms and how readers are made to lust after the hero in question. Romance heroes have to be desirable in order to be lusted by readers, otherwise they wouldn’t be so arousing.

There are clean romance books out there, but there are also the ungodly explicit ones out there. Perhaps because some readers want more sexually explicit books, it’s not a stretch that they get ungodlier as time passes so it’s not surprising that they’d even start including more gay couples along the way. It can’t just be wokeness that’s sinful and worldly, since something can still be sinful and worldly without being woke. But that involves realising how ungodliness doesn’t always take on the forms we complain about.

The Devil’s too clever for that at times, so he’d still find ways of catching people off-guard. While there are godly romance books and writers, there are others who aren’t so that’s why ungodly values get readily embraced over time. But then again large swatches of the book genre are ungodly to begin with, since a lot of it’s based on lust. So it’s going to be slippery anyways and a matter of time that they’ll include polyamorous and gay couples as well as gore.

Keep it simple

TW: Lesbophobia

This is going to be a rather lesbophobic post, if because it’s going to rub them the wrong way. If because it points out something most will not admit in any way, I think if people didn’t want their daughters to come out as lesbian or bisexual there must be something wrong with the way they raised them. But in the sense of having stumbling blocks, like say they get aroused by women when they shouldn’t be (according to the Bible). The Bible has a verse that says if something makes you lust, take it away. It’s this simple, but people will not admit or realise in any way. I think by saying women’s bodies are beautiful actually make it harder for certain women to not lust after women, if because that treats them as sexually desirable when they shouldn’t be for some people.

In this regard, you’d have to treat lesbians like you do with drug addicts. Say this woman doesn’t want to be attracted to women anymore, all you have to do’s to take away the offending material and also not giving into it either. Because this culture sexualises and objectifies women a lot, it makes it harder for some women to not be this sexually attracted to women. Like you don’t want to smoke cigarettes, but everybody else around you does. Because everybody does it, it makes it harder to avoid temptation. So the Bible says that we shouldn’t hang out with such characters if we get tempted, same goes for lesbianism. I don’t think people will be comfortable realising this, even if it’s necessary to weed out possible lesbianism this way.

I imagine some women will disagree with this, but if you have a daughter who’s sexually attracted to women and you don’t want her to come out as gay yet you have offending material that sexualises women a lot (even fine art paintings can be tempting for certain people), all you have to do’s to get rid of the latter as not to encourage or tempt the former. The Bible has a verse that says about training up kids the right way, which they should. It’s like what you do with alcohol if you don’t want somebody drunk. If only people knew this, one stitch would save many more in time. People will not admit it, even if it’s necessary as nobody wants their daughter to come out as a lesbian.

Other stumbling blocks

As I said before in another post or more, stumbling blocks needn’t to always revolve around skimpy clothing, nudity and conventional beauty standards. To wit, Paul’s many stumbling blocks include tight clothing (especially vinyl and latex), high heel shoes, crush fetishism, general sadism, giantesses, infantilism and urine.

I still think anything can be a stumbling block, where let’s say you don’t get aroused by giantesses but Paul does. You don’t get horny from looking at sadism but Paul does, you don’t get horny over urine but he does. If Paul wants to stop lusting, he has to cut off certain things if he can or is willing to, if he wants to save the relationship.

He’s already in trouble for obsessing over giantesses, urine and sadism which hurt his prior girlfriends and he shouldn’t ever do it again, if he’s willing to stop.