When marriage brings pain

It’s like if God allows pain and suffering to happen in your marriage, like say Paul’s going to die from AIDS anyways and it’s going to be a short-lived marriage full of pain and disease. Likewise the Bible says that marriage’s not without difficulties and obstacles, whether if it’s serious incompatibility, arguments or the forthcoming death of a spouse due to AIDS.

I am doubtful of the prosperity gospel as there are rich and famous people who struggle with mental health problems, physical health problems like allergies to cats where it can be a life or death situation where if they come into contact with cats unless if there are hypoallergenic cats they’d risk coming into hives and stuff and other problems like divorce and drug addiction that it’s really not a walk in the park.

(Likewise King David committed adultery and had a child die, despite his wealth and power.)

Marriage’s not a walk in the park where God allows bad things to happen in your marriage to Paul, whether if it’s the loss of him due to AIDS or him not liking cats and dogs to the point where he even throws them away. There’s going to be a lot of suffering in your marriage to Paul where he even threatens to block animal websites because he doesn’t like animals at all.

Nonetheless, God is good where if your husband dies your suffering will die with him.

God

God, I regret that I didn’t get Gerry Alanguilan saved. He was an inker and cartoonist who did stories like Elmer, now he’s in hell and I regret not getting him saved any sooner or earlier. I pray for Pol Medina to be saved, so that he’ll be spared from hell.

Hesus, idalhin mo dito si Paul upang umalis ako sa Marikina. Ayoko dito sa Marikina, madaming bullies ako dito. Binubully ako si Luc, ayaw nila yung religion at gusto mo pumunta ako sa Cubao. Ayoko dito sa Marikina, to be honest at gusto ko umalis ako na magaaga amen.

The Day

I went out shopping with my sister, I overheard some people talking about prices and then when we went back home, I heard a driver saying ‘180’ and a woman saying ‘any cute ng anak mo’. Sandra was aggressive to her daughter Naning but they quickly got along again whenever they play with each other as usual.

I am going through a tough time, feeling as if the late artist Gerry Alanguilan is in hell whilst I’m praying for Pol Medina jr (a cartoonist) to be saved. I’m not sure if Paul, who likes comics, ever prayed for his salvation before. I also want a way out of this personal hell I created for myself, hoping to get out soon enough.

Especially when the lockdown ends, where I pray one day COVID will go away for good.

Father God

Father God, deliver me from Marikina because I don’t want to be bullied any further for my faith and myself. I don’t want to live in there anymore, I want to go away to somewhere else where there’s less bullying of my faith. Take me to Cubao, to anywhere else where I can practise my faith freely.

Father God, please take me away from Marikina so that I won’t be bullied any further for my faith. I don’t want to live in Marikina anymore, I’m tired of being bullied by my brother. I don’t want to live in here anymore, so deliver me from this place, amen.

Faith

Sometimes my faith in God isn’t always so strong due to my habit of worrying and being anxious, there was a time when I lost faith in God because I worried about losing a favourite cat of mine and also Marcy, a former dog of mine.

There was a time in my life when I destroyed a Bible and a cross, I didn’t know any better and my favourite book in the Bible was Revelation. I read some religious books before in my life, I doubted the existence of God calling him the wishing man even if I read my Bible before.

I was an atheist who doubted the existence of God, had issues with going to the Methodist Church (in which I wanked while reading) and had issues with Christianity due to bad experiences with people scolding me when I got mad in class because I had a hard time there.

So much so that I got even madder when somebody criticised me a lot, even though I tried to pay attention in the things I’m not good at and even then I’m still not good at paying attention. My faith’s getting stronger, but the pain’s still there on some level.

God, please

God, please end my spell of unemployment and lack of education. I want to go to a workshop and vocational school to compensate for my lack of prior schooling, if because I didn’t want to be bullied again. I want to get a job so that I’ll earn a lot for myself, I want to get out of a bad life soon.

I want to end a bad life so that I can start in a better life where I have schooling in writing and sewing or cooking, I want to do something good and productive as I spent much of my time on the computer doing little else. I want to go to a writing seminar to improve on my writing, I want to go to a vocational school for sewing.

I want to end a bad life soon, so that I can start fresh in school. I woke my father up and he gave me medicine, please save him God, amen.

Helpless

I am helpless before God, I don’t have a job for a long time and I haven’t had an education. I’m planning on going to a workshop and vocational school one day so that I’ll get a job soon, I don’t want to be stuck in a rut anymore like I did for a long time.

I regret not being in college, I regret being unemployed and I want a way out of this life real badly. I want to get out of the shell, I want to explore and learn, earn as much as I can after going to school and I want a way out of the life I built for myself.

God, help me go to vocational school and get a job thereafter amen.

God, please help me

God, please help me land a job in writing and help me go to a workshop in writing so that I can learn from there since I was in high school. I regret not going to college, if because I got bullied a lot in high school and I want to go to a vocational school and workshop so that I’ll learn from there.

I would like to get a lot of money so that I can spend on the things I like, I need to go to school real badly as what my sister told me I can’t get a job without getting an education first. I took it to heart, now I feel like I want to go to school real badly to get a job there, I want it real quickly as well amen.

This morning

I overheard people laughing this morning where somebody said ‘sa kaliwa’ or to the left, that’s my neighbour doing the talking while I was reading up on something relating to Ben10. For those who don’t know, it’s about a kid who transforms into creatures with different powers using a device.

His sister or cousin does magic, and she’s in love with somebody named Kevin. I’m not saying that Ben 10 or even Asterix and Tintin are necessarily bad to enjoy, just don’t make them into idols. (Or at least pray for their surviving relatives and colleagues.)

There’s this somebody who had this account of seeing a child in hell for watching Ben 10 where she said or rather implied that demons used the cartoon to take advantage of the kid, making them rebellious to their parents. And in another account relating to Tintin, which I’m not making this up but this child was initiated in witchcraft through cartoons.

Again, I’m not going to blame you for liking Tintin that if Tintin and his chums make you happy then power to you as my own aunt loves Tintin herself. (That account was so disturbing it made me pray for an artist who draws similarly to Tintin’s creator Herge.)

Some of the same thing applies to anything, including Ben 10 which’s the subject of a disturbing account of Hell.

Uncertain

I don’t know if God’s good to me, since I’m going through a tough time where I wished for somebody to die but he assured me they will die. I also feel bad that the creator of Asterix didn’t get saved, same with the former translator and I prayed for the successors’ salvation.

I prayed for my Nana and my cousins to be saved, I prayed to help me deal with the death of somebody and I pray for my menstruation to come back. I don’t know if my prayers will be granted, but God promised me that somebody will die and I listened to a sermon about promises being fulfilled with regards to Abraham starting a family with Sarah.

Or in my case, somebody to die which I feel should happen after I marry them and I’m not sure if God will be there for me when that person dies, not sure if the current writers of Asterix will be saved, I prayed for their salvation and I don’t know whether if they’ll be saved or not.