Reasons why those divorce rates happen

As to why black male-white female marriages often end in divorce though this isn’t true for all, there are reasons why and often unflattering and even offensive (though I’d be honest).

Incompatibility

–The issue isn’t that marrying somebody outside of your ethnicity’s good or bad but that compatibility should still factor in. Realistically a black Cameroonian veterinarian would have much more luck with dating/marrying a fellow veterinarian or somebody with veterinarians for parents (whatever their ethnicity/nationality) than he would with somebody who can’t even take care of their own animals at all. (The responsibility thing also matters.)

It’s not wrong to want people who’re like you yet you should also realise that even if you date interracially, you should still find people who’re just like you or at least share experiences/hobbies. There’s no point in dating somebody outside of your race if you don’t have anything in common and if you see them as trophy or sex object. An unathletic lazy white woman’s incompatible with an athletic person (whatever their ethnicity).

David Beckham gets away with it because at least he and his wife share something in common like being bullied in school and taste for fashion. Keep in mind that if you take this into consideration, even the perfect black/Asian/whatever character’s going to be nearly elusive. It’s like trying to find a black veterinarian among many other black people who might not have anything in common with you. You have to forgo sex appeal in favour of traits like whether if he likes guinea pigs or not.

(This gets rarer among certain communities and characters and why disappointment also plays a big part in those divorces.)

Irresponsibility

Like I said before about compatibility, if you want to be compatible you should also be just as responsible. There’s even a study on how and why black male-white female divorce rates happen is because either one of the partners refuses to do responsibilities like household chores. It’s like with the black veterinarian example.

This isn’t always any better either, especially if the person’s there as a trophy and not as an actual person and partly why irresponsibility also factors in high divorce rates. If you can’t be put up with the person who seem incompatible with you, it’s either they’re not meant for you to begin with or that you really don’t know how to take care of them and yourself at times. Your black veterinarian boyfriend’s not always obliged to look after your pets if you yourself don’t know how to care for them to start with.

There’s even one anecdote where a black man ended up becoming a single father to a disabled child because their mother refuses to be responsible for them. Another has a black man going suicidal from being obliged to pay for child support upon divorce. There are some interracial couples (even among black male-white female) who do try to put up with each other as much as they can do about it.

But for others, divorce’s just the easy way to go when it comes to people they can’t always handle nor understand without infantilising them. That and recklessly blowing money on useless things. It’s not wrong to marry for financial support, especially if it’s used on more practical things like education and cooking. But when you marry somebody with the hopes of making them buy useless knick-knacks then it’s bound to not go well.

And why you should be more careful with your budget, platonic or not.

Disappointment

The biggest one. It’s parsimonious to say the more you idealise somebody, the more devastating their flaws turn out to be. I’ve been through it myself and sometimes hoped for the better. Some interracial couples are already like this and sometimes part of the reason why they divorce so often’s because they really can’t accept others as they sometimes are. Especially in things they cannot always control.

It’s like how a white woman divorced a black man for not being rich or financially stable or worse, she divorced him for having a small penis even when he might still be a perfectly functioning even well-adjusted human being. It would be like expecting black men to be macho mandingo types but some of them fall short of those. That even black men or white women can reject their others happens anyways.

(I’ve been rejected by black men twice.)

Alternately speaking it would be like expecting white women to be submissive but they’re nothing like it and some of them are strong enough to fight back. There’s even an anecdote by somebody where they encountered a white woman shouting at and scolding her black boyfriend a lot. Rao help if black-white divorces also happen because of fights over pets. Partner 1 wants the dog to be useful, stay outside and guard the house a lot.

Partner 2 wants it to be a surrogate child and both of them fight over the dog so badly they divorce. There are likely some black men who separated from their white partners because they can’t stand their pets anymore. All three combined help explain why such divorce rates happen.

Closing note:

Whilst dating interracially isn’t always bad or good, if you want to date/marry a black man and not be disappointed by him whilst learning to be put up with him chances are finding the right one’s not only going to be hard. But also involves putting aside sex appeal for long-term pragmatism. If you like cats and you like black Africans too and also hope that black man’s caring, you’d be better off learning French when moving to Cameroon* and having to marry a middle class black veterinarian instead.

You also have to be put up with his attitude to cats but because he still expects them to be useful even when he cares for them a lot. (I still think black veterinarians go better with fellow veterinarians or farmers and even hunters.)

Same with anybody else, you should be more grounded in who you want to date even if you desire them to minimise disappointment as well as learning to be responsible for them and yourself.

*Keep in mind that pet ownership rates and attitudes vary between African countries and demographics. Whilst many (at least Southern) Nigerians don’t seem that fond of cats, their Cameroonian neighbours are likelier to tolerate them (and that from what I’ve read it’s not uncommon for them to keep cats and in some cases, cat ownership’s higher than dog ownershop). Though that still involves being somewhat more realistic when it comes to objectively finding the right enough place as I learnt from experience.

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