The painful, married life

Like I said, the problem might not merely be due to sexual attraction but rather once sexual attraction gets complicated by mixed feelings of disappointment, anger and empathy then it’s going to differ from a constant masturbatory high. In the sense that the object of attraction turns out to be an organism with actual feelings and vices that one may object to but also cares for it. I suspect the married life or at least being in a monogamous relationship is much more painful than say having sex with prostitutes or masturbation.

The latter two require constant highs whilst the former’s characterised by highs and lows in that dealing with a person you love in the long run’s ultimately painful and frought with complicated, mixed feelings. It’s not necessarily wrong to be sexually attracted but once you get to know the flaws and experience being rejected or disappointed by them (I know this from experience) yet resentment and anger gets mixed in with lingering empathy and sympathy that it ceases being masturbatory and starts becoming a painful relationship.

The object of desire turns out to be a complicated, fallible, annoying but pitiable character no different from the one who does the desiring. People are people, something I eventually learnt from experience.

2 thoughts on “The painful, married life

  1. The trick for me was to accept and be kind to my shortcomings. When I learned how to do that, my acceptance of other people’s limitations increased dramatically. It is a nearly constant struggle for improvement in this area, but for me — after one failed marriage and many failed relationships, I have finally accepted my partner’s foibles and she accepts mine. I hope you find that person and that place.

    Liked by 1 person

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